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Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Spiritual Malaise

Spiritual Malaise

I define spiritual malaise as a very personal type of burnout that robs us of the energy we need to pursue the lifestyle we desire. It’s not a grounded feeling or phenomenon, but rather a deep sense of uneasiness and frustration with daily life characterized by a lack of self-connection and engagement. It’s more ambiguous than depression and less fretful than anxiety. It does not declare itself or spread rapidly, it sits, like smog, degrading the oxygen around it. In one sense it’s the malaise of the modern age. With so many daily distractions, from cell phones to job competition, to family and relationship demands, we barely have enough time to consider the things that make life worthwhile.

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Confirmation Bias in Couples

Confirmation Bias in Couples

Confirmation bias is a cognitive distortion that causes us to selectively search for evidence in support of what we already believe to be true. For example, if you believe in ghosts and go to a haunted house then every creak in the floor, movement of air or unexplained noise will serve as validation that the house is haunted. If you don’t believe in ghosts then the house is just old and drafty. Confirmation bias is not based on objective facts; it’s based on selective facts that reaffirm our beliefs. As a purely subjective occurrence, confirmation bias creates self-fulfilling prophecies that traps us in a web of our own assumptions. Continue Reading

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My Humbling: Part II

My Humbling: Part II

We all learn things as we mature that we think we should have learned long ago but for some reason did not. Our thoughts about it generally fall into two categories; No big deal, learn from it and move on, or I can’t believe I didn’t know that sooner. I fall into the second category. I often think I should have known everything sooner, most people do. It was only a few days after my “humbling” regarding Charles Krauthammer, told in Part 1 of The Humbling of Larry Laveman, that I experienced another “really?” moment while watching a HBO documentary on the history of Rolling Stone magazine. Continue Reading

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The Humbling of Larry Laveman: Part I

The Humbling of Larry Laveman: Part I

June 21st, 2018 — Journal Entry: Today Charles Krauthammer died. It’s a sad day for journalism. I will miss his commentary and insight.

I was an admirer of Charles Krauthammer. He was a fair minded, well-spoken and highly intelligent writer and commentator. I periodically saw him on TV while channel surfing the news and commentary of the day. Whenever Krauthammer was on I would linger. He had an awkward look, and always seemed a little uncomfortable in his chair, but his reporting was so good that I would put down my remote and listen. Continue Reading

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The Song of Psychotherapy: Billy Joel, The Beatles and You

The Song of Psychotherapy: Billy Joel, The Beatles and You

Billy Joel, the great modern-day doo op master, openly talks about how he takes old music and makes it his own. He’s not original in his musical abilities, yet everything he does is distinctly Billy Joel. Going from a classically trained pianist to a rock and roller, Joel began creating his own tunes when he got bored playing Mozart and Beethoven. If you listen carefully you can hear the notes from the old 60’s song Wipeout in the opening to Angry Young Man. Joel is one of the best-selling singer song-writers of our generation and a good example of how our uniqueness evolves as we differentiate from that which precedes us. Continue Reading

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The Five Rules of Marriage

The Five Rules of Marriage

I recently had the good fortune of speaking at my daughter’s wedding. I wanted my speech to be memorable and personable but I also wanted to keep it real. So I created the five rules of marriage. Trying to distill the rules down to five wasn’t easy. It’s like the writer Somerset Maugham once said, there are five rules of writing only no one knows what they are. Drawing on all that I know, here are my five rules of marriage. Continue Reading

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The Horror of Las Vegas: Trying to Make Sense Out of Nonsense

The Horror of Las Vegas: Trying to Make Sense Out of Nonsense

There is light and darkness in the world. On October 1st, in one senseless act of terrorism, darkness descended upon Las Vegas. Hours later Tom Petty, a rock and roll troubadour for the past 40 years, died when his heart gave out. One of his most famous refrains comes from his hit I Won’t Back Down; You can stand me up at the gates of hell/But I won’t back down. We should not back down either. Continue Reading

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To My Spiritual Ancestors

To My Spiritual Ancestors

Spirituality exists far beneath the ordinary reaches of our senses; you have to go deep to get to it. It is in constant communication with the surface above, yet it can often feel like a distant and unique world all its own. To be spiritual is to be aware of how the surface level and its deeper counterpart mingle in meaningful ways that connect us to something greater than ourselves. In that regard, our spiritual ancestors are more than just our lineage. Continue Reading

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When Feelings Get in the Way

When Feelings Get in the Way

Feelings are important, but sometimes they get in the way.  I have found that the more time we spend talking about our feelings the less time we spend thinking about how to resolve them.  If we dwell for too long on our emotions we risk becoming “emotionally indulgent” rather than action-oriented.  Our emotions are like anything else that we feed too much; they just keep getting bigger and bigger.  Continue Reading

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On Kissing

On Kissing

The internet is an unruly place when it comes to social commentary. Last December Hillary Duff posted a picture of herself kissing her four year old son on the lips at Disneyland and the internet quickly began to growl. The happiest place on earth turned to “ew”. Duff suggested viewers who found the photo distasteful to click a quick unfollow. There was an equally harsh response when Victoria Beckham posted a similar picture of herself kissing her daughter on the lips for her birthday. To the normal viewer, these kisses are pretty innocent and are nothing more than sweet reminders of the love we feel for our children, but not to UCLA psychologist Dr. Charlotte Reznick. Continue Reading

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