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Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Naïve Realism: Bias and Betrayal in Everyday Life

Naïve Realism: Bias and Betrayal in Everyday Life

A good example of Naïve Realism occurs in an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is convinced by her latest boyfriend, Blaine, to see the film “The English Patient”. She’d rather not but the movie she wants to see is sold out. Upon exiting the movie Elaine emphatically says, God, that movie stunk! Continue Reading

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The Healing Capacity of Empathic Curiosity in Medicine

The Healing Capacity of Empathic Curiosity in Medicine

Medicine is a plurality of science and humanitarian principles measured by scientific research. Unfortunately, there is very little scientific research on the effects of our humanity on medical outcomes. Since the idea of empathy in medicine is vague and open to interpretation, the Jefferson Scale of Physician Empathy was established to create an objective rating scale of physician empathy. The scale, however, tries to reduce “empathy” to a research variable, which is like trying to measure self-esteem with a thermometer. Continue Reading

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The Greatest Aphrodisiac of All…Wait for it…

The Greatest Aphrodisiac of All…Wait for it…

The only reason to read the rest of the article is because you are anticipating the answer, right? Continue Reading

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The One-Minute Mentor

The One-Minute Mentor

The Mentor-Mentee relationship serves a very specific purpose for each of us, which is why we have so few of them in our lifetime. Being able to recognize our mentors is crucial, as they advance knowledge and wisdom from one generation to the next. They help us create outcomes that we can visualize but cannot readily produce on our own. The relationship between a mentor and mentee is highly interactive, engaging and collaborative. In the words of Ben Franklin, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” Continue Reading

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Five Tips For Keeping Your Sanity During The Holiday Season

Five Tips For Keeping Your Sanity During The Holiday Season

The holidays are upon us and bringing with them more ups and downs than a fiddler’s bow.

The holiday season begins around Halloween and hits its first plateau at Thanksgiving before building to a frantic crescendo between Christmas and New Years.  By the time we get into the New Year we’re weary, worn out, and weigh more than Santa himself.  But salvation is close at hand since we still have our New Year’s resolutions to pardon us of our past indulgences by replacing them with massive restrictions.  That’s the cycle of the Holiday Season; indulgence, salvation, restriction, repeat.  Who said it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Continue Reading

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Couples Communication: Listening Without Reacting

Couples Communication: Listening Without Reacting

We often associate communication with what is being said and not with what is being heard.  Research shows (Adler, R. et. al., 2001) that we spend approximately 30% more time listening than talking in communication, yet listening is far less understood.  It doesn’t matter how good a communicator you are if nobody hears what you’re saying.  One of the main differences between talking and listening is that you cannot prepare to listen.  Continue Reading

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4 Ways For You To Think Like A Therapist

4 Ways For You To Think Like A Therapist

It’s not that difficult to think like a therapist.  A lot of it is just common sense.  It’s not about knowing who is right or wrong, it’s about applying critical thinking to situations, having a good understanding of contextual information, knowing the role of empathy, staying current and relatable and being naturally curious.  The art of doing psychotherapy, on the other hand, requires a lot of skill but thinking like a therapist can make a big difference right now in how you manage your problems. Continue Reading

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The Emotional Marriage

A marriage is an emotional journey; a mix of passion and pathos, attraction and repulsion, and dreams and defeats.  Sometimes marriages survive, and sometimes they don’t (See blog entry, Why Marriages Fail; http://www.larrylaveman.com/2014/03/marriages-fail/).  Regardless, there is always more to learn from a marriage than any other relationship in our adult life.  We are fused to our mate in marriage.  We are forced into honesty by the mere fact that we cannot escape.  We are revealed, exposed, challenged, loved and rejected.  Continue Reading

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Everyday Mysticism: Part II

Everyday Mysticism: Part II

From Unity to Duality: The Mystical Advantage of Polarities

In Part One of Everyday Mysticism we talked about Unity as representative of the Whole.  However, in order for the Whole to perceive itself it must become the focus of its own inquiry.  In doing so it becomes both a subject and an object, or a polarity. The focus of Part II is on the mystical advantage of polarities. Continue Reading

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Why Marriages Fail

Why Marriages Fail

Jim and Jenny have been married for seven years.  Their marriage is failing.  The spark that was there at the beginning no longer exists.  They no longer take the time to talk to each other with curiosity and interest.  They no longer hunger for each other sexually.  Jim has become preoccupied with his career and Jenny feels she’s stuck at home with two kids.  I could go on, but you get the picture.  So, wouldn’t you be interested to know that their marriage isn’t failing at all.  It’s just changing and maturing in ways they did not anticipate.  Continue Reading

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