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Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration
Get Real! The Myth of the Authentic Self
Lera Lynn, whose slow raspy voice evokes an undeniable sense of sorrow, sings, Lately I’m not feeling like myself/when I look into the glass I see someone else/I hardly recognize this face I wear/when I stare into her eyes I see no one there. The emptiness of the song’s lyrics represents today’s lack of Authenticity that many people are confronting. Listening to the song I was reminded of a Gestalt therapy workshop I attended in 1977. Irv Polster was working with a group member who was trying to come to terms with her life. She felt lost, no longer able to identify with her current situation, no longer able to recognize herself in the mirror. She cried out, “I’m not myself.” Continue Reading
Political Karma: Why the Election of Donald Trump is Important to You
Now that Donald Trump has won the election, and we’ve all had a chance to digest the outcome, I would like to offer a perspective you don’t often hear about in the media; it includes looking at the election through a karmic lens to help balance out the enormous release of emotion after a very long, tiring and highly contentious election cycle. Continue Reading
Naïve Realism: Bias and Betrayal in Everyday Life
A good example of Naïve Realism occurs in an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is convinced by her latest boyfriend, Blaine, to see the film “The English Patient”. She’d rather not but the movie she wants to see is sold out. Upon exiting the movie Elaine emphatically says, God, that movie stunk! Continue Reading
The Healing Capacity of Empathic Curiosity in Medicine
Medicine is a plurality of science and humanitarian principles measured by scientific research. Unfortunately, there is very little scientific research on the effects of our humanity on medical outcomes. Since the idea of empathy in medicine is vague and open to interpretation, the Jefferson Scale of Physician Empathy was established to create an objective rating scale of physician empathy. The scale, however, tries to reduce “empathy” to a research variable, which is like trying to measure self-esteem with a thermometer. Continue Reading
The Greatest Aphrodisiac of All…Wait for it…
The only reason to read the rest of the article is because you are anticipating the answer, right? Continue Reading
The One-Minute Mentor
The Mentor-Mentee relationship serves a very specific purpose for each of us, which is why we have so few of them in our lifetime. Being able to recognize our mentors is crucial, as they advance knowledge and wisdom from one generation to the next. They help us create outcomes that we can visualize but cannot readily produce on our own. The relationship between a mentor and mentee is highly interactive, engaging and collaborative. In the words of Ben Franklin, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” Continue Reading
Five Tips For Keeping Your Sanity During The Holiday Season
The holidays are upon us and bringing with them more ups and downs than a fiddler’s bow.
The holiday season begins around Halloween and hits its first plateau at Thanksgiving before building to a frantic crescendo between Christmas and New Years. By the time we get into the New Year we’re weary, worn out, and weigh more than Santa himself. But salvation is close at hand since we still have our New Year’s resolutions to pardon us of our past indulgences by replacing them with massive restrictions. That’s the cycle of the Holiday Season; indulgence, salvation, restriction, repeat. Who said it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Continue Reading
Couples Communication: Listening Without Reacting
We often associate communication with what is being said and not with what is being heard. Research shows (Adler, R. et. al., 2001) that we spend approximately 30% more time listening than talking in communication, yet listening is far less understood. It doesn’t matter how good a communicator you are if nobody hears what you’re saying. One of the main differences between talking and listening is that you cannot prepare to listen. Continue Reading
4 Ways For You To Think Like A Therapist
It’s not that difficult to think like a therapist. A lot of it is just common sense. It’s not about knowing who is right or wrong, it’s about applying critical thinking to situations, having a good understanding of contextual information, knowing the role of empathy, staying current and relatable and being naturally curious. The art of doing psychotherapy, on the other hand, requires a lot of skill but thinking like a therapist can make a big difference right now in how you manage your problems. Continue Reading
The Emotional Marriage
A marriage is an emotional journey; a mix of passion and pathos, attraction and repulsion, and dreams and defeats. Sometimes marriages survive, and sometimes they don’t (See blog entry, Why Marriages Fail; https://www.larrylaveman.com/2014/03/marriages-fail/). Regardless, there is always more to learn from a marriage than any other relationship in our adult life. We are fused to our mate in marriage. We are forced into honesty by the mere fact that we cannot escape. We are revealed, exposed, challenged, loved and rejected. Continue Reading