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Two Minute Articles for Parents

Can You Be Too Attached To Your Child?

Can You Be Too Attached To Your Child?

My sister had a favorite blanket that she carried around with her until she was eleven years old.  It was her “shmata,” a Yiddish word meaning “worn out security blanket.”  She didn’t actually carry it around, but she was always aware of its location, and at night she slept with it on her bed.  One day my parents hid it from her and made her think that they had finally disposed of it.  My sister was inconsolable at the news that her blanket was gone.  She was so inconsolable, in fact, that my parents miraculously “recovered” it for her.  Continue Reading

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Children of Divorce

Divorce, like anything else that is unsettling, has a direct affect on the lives of millions of children in the United States.  Many people see divorce as a moral dilemma.  Some view it as an epidemic.  Others simply see it as a routine part of American life.  No matter what the view, however, divorce creates issues of adjustment for all involved. Continue Reading

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How to Identify and Deal with Bullies at School

The idea of childhood bullying has gone mostly unnoticed until the current events at Columbine and Santana High School brought this childhood dynamic to the forefront.  It is now receiving widespread attention and is recognized as a serious problem throughout elementary, middle and high school.  Some reports state that at least two thirds of all shootings involve kids who say they were bullied in school.  The following is a good definition of bullying: A negative situation that occurs regularly and repeatedly perpetrated by an aggressive student who is trying to control a weaker or more vulnerable one.  The act of bullying involves an implied threat of physical harm and also some form of intimidation.  To deal with bullying requires parents to both recognize when their child is being bullied, and when their child is being a bully. Continue Reading

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Teaching Your Children Well

Parenting is not an easy job, but we take it on with a commitment and passion that is unrivaled.  We bring our children into the world with all of our heart and soul.  We embrace them, love them, shelter them, and snuggle them so they will feel safe and secure as they begin their journey in the world.  As our children get older much of our time is spent making sure they are provided for.  We shop, cook, clean, work, and save for their future.  We put boundaries around them so they begin to understand right from wrong, good from bad, and get them ready to move toward whatever their destiny demands of them.  In all of the demands child-rearing places on parents one thing that often gets overlooked is teaching them how to make the world around them a better place.  Continue Reading

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The Not So Terrible Two’s

Parents have historically been forewarned about the “terrible two’s,” that stage of life when their child turns from a sweet little toddler into a monster.  What they have not been told, unfortunately, is that it is one of the most important developmental stages they will ever witness.  During the second year of life children begin to differentiate from their parents.  As they explore the world on their own you can see them hastily returning to the safety of their parent’s arms when they become frightened.  It is also a time when they develop more independent cognitive skills.  In order to define themselves as separate from their parents they often become disagreeable.  To establish their own sense of self they begin to use the word “no” very effectively, and repetitively.  With the proper attitude, however, it can really be quite a wonderful time for parents as they watch their children develop a better sense of themselves.  Regrettably, parents often view their child’s natural progression into a freethinking individual as defiance that is taken all too personally.   Continue Reading

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The Silent Stressors of Parenthood in the First Year

Silent Stressor #1

To some degree, all new parents suffer from stress.  In an uneventful pregnancy, the first stress generally occurs at the boundary between the end of the pregnancy and the birth of the child.  It’s hard to imagine that not being pregnant is stressful, but it is.  When you consider that a normal pregnancy is a time of great anticipation that brings the spouses together in preparation, it’s logical to assume that there would be some feelings about the pregnancy coming to an end.  It’s during pregnancy, after all, when you make the announcement, choose a name for your child, buy furniture, fix up the baby’s room, experience the innate sensation of nesting, and carry around within you the seeds of the next generation.  Continue Reading

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Passing the Love On

When two people sign their name to a marriage license they create a sacred union, and a social structure for bringing children into the world.  It’s not something to be taken lightly, although the divorce rate of almost 60% may say otherwise.  How many other things in life can you think of that have the words “til death do us part” associated with them?  These words alone make the marriage contract sacred, yet we so easily take for granted the sanctity of marriage once the wedding is over.  It’s not uncommon that one of the primary reasons for marriage, to provide a legitimate structure to raise children within, also contributes to its neglect. Continue Reading

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The Importance of Routine in Your Child’s Life

Routines make children relax.  When kids know what to expect they see the world as having a natural order to it, and therefore, living in the world becomes less stressful for them.  One way of reinforcing the natural orderliness of the world is to create rituals in your family so your child will know what the family rules and routines are and will learn how to follow them.  When rituals are not established in early childhood there is an unequivocal carryover into your child’s later life. Continue Reading

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The Spiritual Child

Since spirituality is an intangible concept, there are many different ways of defining it’s essence.  It can be seen across a wide spectrum from a connection to tangible religious beliefs, to a philosophy, to a way of being.  At best, an agreeable definition of spirituality remains elusive.  The closest we can come to consensus on the meaning of spirituality is by looking at some consistent qualities that span all categories of definition.  To that end, there is universal agreement that spirituality is a belief in the existence of a singular source that connects everything to everything else.  Whether we call the singular source God, Allah, Brahman, Ultimate Reality, Divine Consciousness, or any number of other names for it, the concept of spirituality provides us with a greater context through which to view our lives.   Continue Reading

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Helping Your Child Cope with the Loss of a Loved One

As parents, we instinctively try to shelter and protect our children from harmful events and negative people.  If there is something dangerous in their environment we remove it.  If there is something suspicious, we investigate it.  If something disturbs them we provide reassurance. Our tendency is to do the same thing when someone close to them dies.  We tell them it will be all right, and then usually say something like “your Auntie is in heaven and has become an angel that is now watching over you.”  Shortly after, our child may say that she wants to go to heaven to visit Auntie.  At that point we suddenly realize that in a child’s world nothing is ever gone forever.   Continue Reading

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