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The Five Rules of Marriage

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

I recently had the good fortune of speaking at my daughter’s wedding. I wanted my speech to be memorable and personable but I also wanted to keep it real. So I created the five rules of marriage. Trying to distill the rules down to five wasn’t easy. It’s like the writer Somerset Maugham once said, there are five rules of writing only no one knows what they are. Drawing on all that I know, here are my five rules of marriage. Continue Reading

Jan 10th, 20184 comments

The Horror of Las Vegas: Trying to Make Sense Out of Nonsense

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

There is light and darkness in the world. On October 1st, in one senseless act of terrorism, darkness descended upon Las Vegas. Hours later Tom Petty, a rock and roll troubadour for the past 40 years, died when his heart gave out. One of his most famous refrains comes from his hit I Won’t Back Down; You can stand me up at the gates of hell/But I won’t back down. We should not back down either. Continue Reading

Oct 4th, 201717 comments

To My Spiritual Ancestors

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Spirituality exists far beneath the ordinary reaches of our senses; you have to go deep to get to it. It is in constant communication with the surface above, yet it can often feel like a distant and unique world all its own. To be spiritual is to be aware of how the surface level and its deeper counterpart mingle in meaningful ways that connect us to something greater than ourselves. In that regard, our spiritual ancestors are more than just our lineage. Continue Reading

Sep 6th, 201610 comments

When Feelings Get in the Way

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Feelings are important, but sometimes they get in the way.  I have found that the more time we spend talking about our feelings the less time we spend thinking about how to resolve them.  If we dwell for too long on our emotions we risk becoming “emotionally indulgent” rather than action-oriented.  Our emotions are like anything else that we feed too much; they just keep getting bigger and bigger.  Continue Reading

Mar 17th, 20168 comments

On Kissing

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

The internet is an unruly place when it comes to social commentary. Last December Hillary Duff posted a picture of herself kissing her four year old son on the lips at Disneyland and the internet quickly began to growl. The happiest place on earth turned to “ew”. Duff suggested viewers who found the photo distasteful to click a quick unfollow. There was an equally harsh response when Victoria Beckham posted a similar picture of herself kissing her daughter on the lips for her birthday. To the normal viewer, these kisses are pretty innocent and are nothing more than sweet reminders of the love we feel for our children, but not to UCLA psychologist Dr. Charlotte Reznick. Continue Reading

May 23rd, 20172 comments

Get Real! The Myth of the Authentic Self

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Lera Lynn, whose slow raspy voice evokes an undeniable sense of sorrow, sings, Lately I’m not feeling like myself/when I look into the glass I see someone else/I hardly recognize this face I wear/when I stare into her eyes I see no one there. The emptiness of the song’s lyrics represents today’s lack of Authenticity that many people are confronting. Listening to the song I was reminded of a Gestalt therapy workshop I attended in 1977. Irv Polster was working with a group member who was trying to come to terms with her life. She felt lost, no longer able to identify with her current situation, no longer able to recognize herself in the mirror. She cried out, “I’m not myself.” Continue Reading

Aug 31st, 20158 comments

Political Karma: Why the Election of Donald Trump is Important to You

From the category Five Minute Articles For Your Consideration

Now that Donald Trump has won the election, and we’ve all had a chance to digest the outcome, I would like to offer a perspective you don’t often hear about in the media; it includes looking at the election through a karmic lens to help balance out the enormous release of emotion after a very long, tiring and highly contentious election cycle. Continue Reading

Nov 26th, 201614 comments

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  • Larry Laveman LCSW, BCD
    Solana Beach, CA

    Email: larry@larrylaveman.com
    Phone: (858) 755-0746

© Larry Laveman